[After a minute, he adds] I’d like us to prepare and have breakfast and dinner together - not every day, but regularly. And let me know if you won’t be there. I don’t need detailed info about where you are when. Just common courtesy, so I’m not waiting on you. And I’ll do the same.
I appreciate that, and if you want to, then you can, but it doesn't seem a fair thing to require.
A major decision = something that would change or impact one or both of our lives.
[Did he ignore the part about what he wants that can't go into a contract? Yes. Because it's not relevant right now, in his mind. And related to the breakfast and dinner thing she hasn't addressed, so. He's not diving in farther at this point.]
I asked around what other people had, just to see.
Something like: both the Dominant and the Submissive can meet their quota where they want to but if quota is not being met, they will meet it for each other.
[what she reads is that he's not interested in being possibly being forced to have sex with her three times a month which wasn't the impression she'd gotten when they'd done it that one time. she'd thought he'd enjoyed himself, so she's trying not to be hurt, but. it's there.]
[The response is enough to cue him in that she's taken it the wrong way, so he tries to clarify, without saying too much.]
If I wanted to have sex with someone who's obligated to do so, then I'd pay a whore, which you are not. What I *want* is for you to come to my bed because you want to be there, because you want *me*, not because of some contract or quota. I may accept the role, but I don't actually love being seen as a necessary evil.
If you want it in the contract, to make it clear or whatever, then fine. But if you need me, or want me, for that, you don't need a contract to make sure you don't get hauled off to wherever.
[He'd figured someone must be, since they hadn't been meeting their quotas together, but knowing it was some specific guy, with a name, who was her best friend still feels like a bit of a kick in the gut. He's an idiot, as always. Overall, he's glad she told him via text, though It gives him a chance to process, to not let her see his initial reaction, to respond after he gets a chance to write and rewrite his response a few times.]
[and for all those reasons, he doesn't want her to feel sorry for him, but she's already made it part of the contract that she gets to see her friends, so he sincerely doubts his being upset would change anything. So, why risk it?]
Nothing to apologize for.
I'll see an attorney first thing and let you know when it's ready. You can move in whenever you want.
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4/4
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I don't mind contributing to things. You don't have to do it all.
What do you want that doesn't go in a contract?
I'll try not to kill anyone and I guess I can play nice as much as possible.
What qualifies as a major decision?
[she'll address breakfast and dinner in a minute.]
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A major decision = something that would change or impact one or both of our lives.
[Did he ignore the part about what he wants that can't go into a contract? Yes. Because it's not relevant right now, in his mind. And related to the breakfast and dinner thing she hasn't addressed, so. He's not diving in farther at this point.]
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I guess we can discuss the bigger things later.
Breakfast and dinner seem good. I can't really cook, so I'll leave it to you.
[breakfast in bed is a thing, sebastian.]
But I'll try to be there.
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I'm happy to cook, but I can also teach you.
[He is aware, but he's making no assumptions about his welcome in her bedroom, let alone her bed.]
Good.
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Unless you don't want to.
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Something like: both the Dominant and the Submissive can meet their quota where they want to but if quota is not being met, they will meet it for each other.
However you want to make it sound official.
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[Then, a minute later, after deciding that 1) that's way too vulnerable sounding and 2) he's an idiot.]
Nevermind. Forget I said anything. It's fine.
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Whatever you want then.
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If I wanted to have sex with someone who's obligated to do so, then I'd pay a whore, which you are not. What I *want* is for you to come to my bed because you want to be there, because you want *me*, not because of some contract or quota. I may accept the role, but I don't actually love being seen as a necessary evil.
If you want it in the contract, to make it clear or whatever, then fine. But if you need me, or want me, for that, you don't need a contract to make sure you don't get hauled off to wherever.
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I was just saying in case you didn't want to. This kind of saved us both.
But if you want to, then it's no big deal. We can do that and not worry about it.
[making quota since it'll just be happening.]
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If that makes sense?
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Not sure it does, really.
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He helps me, too.
[she feels like she's oversharing but he should know that, right?]
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I see. Thanks for telling me.
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still, she can tell by his response that he's upset, so she has to ask:]
are you okay?
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Of course. Why wouldn't I be?
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Nevermind. Sorry.
If you get it made, I'll sign it.
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Nothing to apologize for.
I'll see an attorney first thing and let you know when it's ready. You can move in whenever you want.